January 2012
“Ew, my mom loves me. What a fag.”
– Ileen
ukeofspook:
how to kiss
put your mouth on their mouth
start screaming into their mouth until you pass out
Temple Run isn't even that good of a game.
what-is-this-i-dont-even:
Why is everyone all up on its dick.
liveinlust:
I hate when people trash a band before giving them a chance. Stop being fucking ignorant, give them a listen or two, and if you don’t like them, keep your mouth shut.
nickelback needs a chance guys
Does anyone want 2 tinychat?
I always find tumblr tinychats awkward D’: there’s nothing to say.
I'm looking at that spilled milk gif of Obama and...
Batman is my favorite Disney Princess
xanderpants:
Dad: Claudia.
Dad: CLAUDIA.
Me: Yeeesss?
Dad: The debate's about to start. The one in Jacksonville!
Me: Oh, wow, I almost forgot! Thank you! What channel?
Dad: CNN.
Me: Do you want to watch it together?
Dad: No.
Me: ...
Dad: You're too liberal to watch these things with.
Dad: You're going to blog the entire thing, anyways.
Dad: Like anybody even reads your blog.
Dad: Socialist.
these conversations, man
Magdiel: DON'T ADD HIM
Me: lol dude
Magdiel: Lol I'm gonna speed things along
Me: I already know him -___- he's my cousin's ex
Magdiel: I hate taking things slow man I'm gonna be like "let's go out tomorrow" or something
Magdiel: WHAT
Magdiel: WHAT
Me: LOLJK I'M DOING A LOT OF JK'S LATELY
Magdiel: WHAT
Magdiel: WHAT
Magdiel: WHAT
Magdiel: WHAT
Me: I SAID J FUCKING K
Magdiel: FUCK YOU I DON'T LIKE YOU
Magdiel: OMG
Me: YOU LOVE ME
Magdiel: LOL I KNOW
Me: AND IF I WERE A SLIM GERMAN GAY BOY
Me: YOU WOULD PUT IT IN MY POOPER
Me: SO SHUT UP
“This fucking homework is going to get raped.”
– me, right before I decide not to do it
adele: i set fire to the rain
me:
mom:
adele: watched it burn
me and adele: AS I TOUCHED YOUR FACE
mom: please get your hand off my face i'm driving.
The kids have it all figured out.
Myrrham: tesno: r0bertbrowniejr: Yesterday my mom... →
tesno:
r0bertbrowniejr:
Yesterday my mom posted a picture on Facebook of my 5 year old brother Sam wearing a pair of shoes he picked out for his first day of preschool.
She explained to him in the store that they were really made for girls. Sam then told her that he didn’t care…
Star Wars
Marshal: She's never seen Star Wars?! Ted the only people in the universe who have never seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and that's cause they lived them Ted, that's cause they lived the Star Wars.
Ted: You've gotta calm down.
Marshall: I told you. I told you that you don't know this girl well enough. What if you show it to her and she doesn't like it?
Ted: Dude, it's just a movie.
Marshall: Ted, Star Wars is your all time favorite movie, and whether or not Stella actually likes it is really important. Its like a test of how compatible you guys are.
Ted: Marshall, its just a movie.
Marshall: Ha.
Ted: Its just a movie.
121 Awesome minutes later...
Ted: Ok, if Stella doesn't like this movie, I can't marry her.
Marshall: No, you can't.
Ted: Wanna watch it again?
Marshall: Yes I do.
himynameiscarl:
how the hell do other humans deal with feelings
Watchadriofthedead:
sleeplikedeadmen:
marioninstitutionformentalhealth:
iamjustacoat:
tccooksshit:
demonsistersruru:
randomredux:
fanaticality:
supercomputer:
phaibooty:
Wow.
Pardon my French - fuckin’ hell, that was moving.
Oh…oh my. Even if I could word this properly, there are no words to describe the truth of a video that speaks for itself except to say, “If you don’t...
“It’s not a pencil. It’s a Shakeweight.”
– Julia
“I’d fuck both of you guys and then call you the next day.”
– Julia
“Netflix ruins social lives.”